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Crystallex International Corporation is a Canadian-based gold company with a successful record of developing and operating gold mines in Venezuela and elsewhere in South America

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Message: Time to bring in the Popemobile

Original: AP Photo/Gerald Herbert, Much Improved Version: Awesome Dude/Garrett Miller
  1. Water bottle: It’s got to get pretty hot in that bullet-proof box of bliss, so I suggest a prominent source of water. It’s hip, and will last for hours as he slowly, slowly makes his way past the throngs of admirers.
  2. Velvet couch: Popin’ ain’t easy, so you gots to roll in style.
  3. Tinted windows: Eyes up here, folks, not on the boys in the front! Gotta keep the mystery fresh.
  4. Flames: Remind your followers of the burning threat that lies in wait for any un-repented sins. Also they look really cool.
  5. Rims: See B.
  6. Neon light: Make the Popemobile float, just like our man Jesus floated right on over that water.
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