One day I saw a wonderful old gal sitting on her front step, so I walked up to her and said, "I couldn't help noticing how happy you look!

What is your secret for such a long, happy life?

"I smoke ten stogies a day," she said. "Before I go to bed, I smoke a nice big joint. All my life I've eaten only junk food and I put away at least a
fifth of Jack Daniels every week. On weekends I pop pills, and never do any exercise at all."

Absolutely, absolutely amazing, I thought, and asked, "How old are you?"

"Twenty-four," she replied.