... wherein I was walking along an oil soaked beach and I happened by chance upon (you guessed it) a greasy jug (only one). Out of curiosity ( someone told me that it was a sign of intelligence when I was in grade six, so I have always said I was curious ever since ) I picked up the vessel and tried to rub off some of the grime. Out flew the cork and suddenly a Genie appeared (as if by magic!) and asked me if I would like the usual number of wishes granted (having lied about my curiosity I can not lie again and say that I am a quick thinker).

"Yikes!" ( I said to myself slowly, for one does not take the chance on robustly passing gas at this age ) "... ummmm, ummm , ummm".

"What the f-ck 's your problem, dummy?", demanded the Genie. "You just lost two wishes, SO SPEAK UP!"

"Well", I blurted, "I was going to ask you to make the oil disappear and stop the leak, but I guess I'll ask you what you think will happen to the global economy... and stuff."

"I'm not a goddam profit for fart's ( I guess he read me well ) sake, a--hole!... I'm a friggin, oil-stained Genie, but what the hell, seeing as I was a bit hard on you, here goes!"

"With coming hyperinflation and an avalanche of money printing, the US will default its debt and there will be a war initiated in the middle east...Iran soon." It wll escalate over a time. Many nations will be bankrupted as will many US States as the standard of living declines significantly and the world enters a depression."

"Forget that global currency bullshit. There will be an oil-backed northern Euro, an asset/gold backed Asian Currency and a North American gold-backed currency. The US will hold swapped gold owed to others and it will outlaw all personal gold holdings and buy out all PM mines, all gold in the ground...in order to have the asset to back the new currency...and gold will be revalued exponentially."

"The world will see rapidly growing protectionism, isolationism, depression, and strife...the US will experience internal strife as opposing political forces clash and the people rise up in anger."

"Global energy costs will skyrocket. Global trade will be severely affected."

"That's about all I'm prepared to say, so you got your two bits worth."

" However, in order not to leave you totally gob-smacked, in the end, a new world... a much better world will emerge from the dark and metamorphose into something very positive for all mankind. In the end, the world will be a much better place for all. It is the nature of the Cosmos and 'The Grand Plan.' "

"Now I'll get back in the oily jug, which has miraculously transformed into a bottle, and I would ask you to kindly throw me back into the waves. I was trying to get picked up by someone from BP before you came along and really screwed things up... oh yeah...and sweet dreams!"