Earnings release sounds pretty anticlimactic to me.

"The company lost $xx,xxx,xxx this quarter which in relation to the same quarter last year is a decrease of 3% year over year. Despite the fact we continue to bleed red ink and continue to dilute our steadfast shareholders, we continually reward our loyal employees with stock options. For example our HR director has continued to sell her optioned shares to the tune of $250,000 in supplemental income this year alone. Please do not judge Ms. Palumbo hashly since she has 2 kids in college and the maintenance on her indoor pool is quite expensive."

The above is obviously tongue in cheek but I often dream about total transparency when it comes to the companies I am invested in.

Swing