My dearest wazfactor,

I can read by your fantastic mystical writngs that fantasmagorical things will be an everyday occurrence for those who have intelligently chosen Patriot Scientific to be placed in their collection of investment portfolios, no matter how overburdened they may already be.

Ohhhh, how I would love to be on the receiving end of one of your provacative, inspirational recitations!!  The intoxicating verbiage of your dispatch in which you allude to "the Great Cashendo" has stimulated me to the point that I must ask.......will you marry me?