• I got a pre-declined credit card in
the mail.

• I ordered a burger at McDonald's and the kid behind
the counter asked, "Can
you afford fries with that?"

• CEO's are now playing miniature golf.

• If the bank returns your check marked
"Insufficient Funds," you call them
and ask if they meant you or them.

• Hot Wheels and Matchbox stocks are trading higher than
GM.

• McDonald's is selling the 1/4 ouncer.

• A truckload of Americans was caught sneaking into
Mexico .

• Motel Six won't leave the light on anymore.

• The Mafia is laying off judges.

• Exxon-Mobil laid off 25 Congressmen.

• Congress says they are looking into this Bernard Madoff
scandal. Oh Great!! The guy who made $50 Billion disappear is being
investigated by the people who made $1.5 Trillion disappear!

• I was so depressed last night thinking about the economy, wars, jobs,
my
savings, Social Security, retirement funds, etc., I called the
Suicide Lifeline.
I got a call center in Pakistan , and when I told them I was
suicidal, they got
all excited, and asked if I could drive a truck.