Differences of opinion are inevitable.

When discussing these differences some people can seem unnecessarily harsh, while simply trying to be forthright. Others may seem oversensitive when their views are challenged. Faceless written words on pages do not fully transmit the nuances of verbal conversation, sometimes leading to misinterpretation of a poster's comments. An uncivil remark can escalate spirited discussion into a personal argument that no longer focuses objectively on the problem at hand.

Such exchanges waste our efforts and undermine a positive, productive environment. Resolve differences of opinion through civil discussion; disagree without being disagreeable. Discussion of other posters should be limited to polite discourse about their actions.

Everyone is expected to be reasonably cooperative, to refrain from making personal attacks, to work within the scope of Agoracom's rules, and to be responsive to good-faith questions. Try to treat your fellow members as respected colleagues with whom you are working on an important project. Be especially welcoming and patient towards new users. Welcome other people to contribute, but politely discourage non-constructive posts.

AVOIDING THE DOWNWARD SPIRAL

Incivility – or the appearance of incivility – typically arises from heated disputes.

Explain yourself. Not sufficiently explaining can be perceived as uncivil, whether that's the poster's intention or not.

Consider using a personal message instead of, or in addition to, a posting in the forum.

Try not to get too intense. Other people can misread your passion as aggression. Take great care to avoid the appearance of being heavy-handed or bossy. Nobody likes to be bossed about by another who appears to believe that they are "superior"; nobody likes a bully.

Avoid posting while you're in a bad mood. It does spill over.

Reality Check; disengage by two steps to assess what you're about to say (or have just said). Asking yourself "How would I feel if someone said that to me?" is often not enough, many people can just brush things off, and it's water off a duck's back. To get a better perspective, ask yourself: "How would I feel if someone said that to someone I love who can't just "brush it off?" If you'd find that unacceptable, then don't say it. And, if you've already said it, strike it and apologise.

Just because we're online doesn't mean we can behave badly to each other. People working together in a newspaper office aren't supposed to get into punch-ups in the newsroom because they disagree about how something is worded or whose turn it is to make the coffee. Nor are volunteers working at the animal rescue centre allowed to start screaming at each other over who left ferrets in the filing cabinet or the corn snake in the cutlery drawer.

In fact, there's pretty much nowhere where people working together to do something good are allowed to get into fist-fights, shouting matches, hair-pulling or name-calling. The same applies here, too.

Someone may very well be an idiot. But telling them so is neither going to increase their intelligence nor improve your ability to communicate with them.

No matter how frustrated you are, do not tell people to "grow up" or include any wording along the lines of "if this were kindergarten" in your messages.

Be careful with short postings. They are potentially subject to misinterpretation or oversimplification. They cannot be changed after pressing "Save", and are often written in haste, particularly in stressful situations. Remember to explain yourself, especially when things are getting heated; to avoid personal comments about anyone you may have disputes with; take the opportunity to further explain your view of the situation.

DO's and DON'Ts

DO

Be clear, so that others can assess your messsage quickly

Use neutral language

Be calm

DON'T

Make snide comments

Make personal remarks about anyone

Be aggressive

Incivility consists of one or more of the following behaviours, especially when done in an aggressive manner: personal attacks, rudeness and disrespectful comments. These often alienate others and disrupt the forum experience through unproductive stressors and conflict.

While a few minor incidents of incivility that no one complains about are not necessarily a concern, a continuing pattern of incivility is unacceptable. If incivility consists of repeated harassment or egregious personal attacks against one or more individuals, then it may result in being disciplined (warnings or banishment).

Even a single act of severe incivility can result in bans; for example, a single episode of extreme verbal abuse or profanity directed at another contributor, or a threat of harm against another person.

In general, be understanding and non-retaliatory in dealing with incivility. If others are uncivil, do not respond in kind. Consider ignoring isolated examples of incivility, and simply moving forward with the issue. If necessary, point out gently that you think the comment might be considered uncivil, and make it clear that you want to move on and focus on the content.

Bear in mind that the poster may not have considered it uncivil; the Agoracom community includes people from many different backgrounds, and standards vary. Moderators should step in if there is an ongoing problem you cannot resolve.

Moderators should not become a weapon to use against other contributors. To insist that another poster be sanctioned for an isolated, minor incident, to repeatedly bring up past incivility after an individual has changed their approach, or to treat constructive criticism as an attack, is itself potentially disruptive, and may result in warnings or even bans if repeated.

NO PERSONAL ATTACKS OR HARRASSMENT

Members are expected to avoid personal attacks and harassment of others. This applies equally to all: it is as unacceptable to attack a user who has a history of foolish or boorish behaviour, as it is to attack any other user.

Do your part to encourage a positive online community: people make mistakes, but they are encouraged to learn from them and change their ways. Personal attacks and harassment are contrary to this spirit, and are damaging to the experience of others.

It is sometimes difficult to make a hard-and-fast judgement of what is uncivil and what is not.

Such a judgement may need to take into account such matters as (i) the intensity and context of the language/behaviour; (ii) whether the behaviour has occurred on a single occasion, or is occasional or regular; (iii) whether a request has already been made to stop the behaviour, and whether that request is recent; (iv) whether the behaviour has been provoked; and (v) the extent to which the behaviour of others need to be treated at the same time.

The following behaviours can all contribute to an uncivil environment:

1. Direct rudeness

(a) rudeness, insults, name-calling, gross profanity or indecent suggestions

(b) personal attacks, including racial, ethnic, sexual, gender-related and religious slurs, and derogatory references to groups such as social classes or nationalities

(c) ill-considered accusations of impropriety

(d) belittling a fellow poster, including the use of judgmental replies or posts (e.g. "that is the stupidest thing I have ever seen. EOM")

2. Other uncivil behaviours

(a) taunting or baiting: deliberately pushing others to the point of breaching civility even if not seeming to commit such a breach themselves. All members are responsible for their own actions in cases of baiting; a user who is baited is not excused by that if they attack in response, and a user who baits is not excused from their actions by the fact that the bait may be taken.

(b) harassment, including bullying, personal or legal threats, posting of personal information, repeated email PMs or postings

(c) sexual harassment

(d) lying

(e) quoting another out of context to give the impression they hold views they do not hold, or to malign them

In addition, lack of care can lead to conflict and stress. For instance, referring to a user's good-faith posts as vandalism may lead to their feeling unfairly attacked. Use your best judgement, and be ready to apologize if you turn out to be wrong.

Unless there is strong evidence to the contrary, moderators should assume that posters are trying to contribute to the forum.

The Assume Good Faith guideline does not require that Moderators continue to assume good faith in the presence of obvious contrary evidence; however, do not assume any more intentional wrongdoing than the evidence clearly supports, and given equally plausible interpretations of the evidence, choose the most positive one.

First of all, consider whether you and the other poster may simply have misunderstood each other. Clarify, and ask for clarification.

Consider the possibility that something you said or did wrongly provoked a defensive, irritated or fed-up response.

Be prepared to apologise for anything which you could / should have done better! (Note: if an awful lot of people seem to be getting ratty with you, the problem may be with you!)

Even if you're hurt, be as calm and reasonable as possible in your response. The other person probably didn't mean to cause you pain or harm.

Explain, clearly but kindly, exactly what you felt was uncivil. Sometimes it helps to let the other person know how their post made you feel. People aren't mind-readers! ("That made me feel..." is much less likely to incite more anger or resentment than "Your post was...")

If none of this is working, either walk away (if the other person isn't damaging the forum or being uncivil / unkind to others), or get help.

No matter how much you're being provoked, resist the temptation to snap back. It never works well; it just makes things worse. Strive to become the person who can't be baited.

In "emergency" situations (where the other person needs to be stopped in their tracks to avoid causing serious disruption or needs a fast and strong wake-up call) take it to the moderators.

In a case of ongoing incivility, moderators will first decide if anything needs to be done.

Confronting someone over a minor incident – particularly if it turns out that you misinterpreted what they meant – may produce more stress and drama than the incident itself. Consider your own behaviour, and, if you find you have been uncivil, apologize to him or her instead.

Threats of violence (including death threats in general) should be reported to your local police agency immediately. For legal threats, bigoted attacks or other hateful speech, and other cases where immediate action is required, send a PM to one of the moderators.

Where the uncivil comment is yours, any of these options will help to reduce the impact:

Where someone is unintentionally offended at your comment, calmly explain what you meant.

Simply apologize. This option never hurts, and can be combined well with any of the others. Even if you feel the thrust of your words is true, or that they are misunderstanding what you meant, you can still apologize.

In the event of rudeness or incivility on the part of another, it may be appropriate to discuss the offending words with that person in a PM, and to request that they reconsider such wording in future.

Some care is necessary, however, so as not to further inflame the situation. It is not normally appropriate for a moderator to remove a thread, but it is one of the tools available.

Exceptions include to remove obvious trolling or vandalism.

A special case is revealing personally identifiable information about another person that they have not revealed themselves and probably do not want known, such as their name, phone number, or address. These should be immediately removed. This applies whether or not the information is correct, as to confirm the information is incorrect by treating it any differently may reveal useful metainformation.