...you asked for it :)

What do you call a handcuffed man?

Trustworthy.

What does it mean when a man is in your bed gasping for breath and calling your name?

You didn't hold the pillow down long enough.

How does a man show he's planning for the future:

He buys two cases of beer instead of one.

How many men does it take to screw in a light bulb?

One...he just holds it up there and waits for the world to revolve around him.

What did God say after creating man?

I can do so much better.

Why is it a good thing that there are female astronauts?

When the crew gets lost in space, the women will ask for directions.

What's the best way to force a man to do sit-ups?

Put the remote control between his toes.

Best...Pauline

p.s. sorry about the wonky formatting - Agoracom doesn't seem to think these are funny.