Well Ganalane, you certainly provided the necessary note of levity - maybe that'll rise the ship.

"... treated to a guard choking on a hot dog" - cracked me up. And like all here, I needed cheering up.

As to LINK's ALL-CAPS writing, indeed I cannot read it, same as I cannot understand what dogs are howling about at night, specifically. Fifi is in heat? Butcher is handing out free sausage scraps? I'm coming over to p*ss on your tree? Whatever it says, I just smile and say to myself, hmm, dogs are fine. Whatever they are howling about.