Without question, the greatest invention in the history of mankind is beer. Oh, I grant you that the wheel was also a fine invention, but the wheel does not go nearly as well with pizza. ~Dave Barry


Drinking makes such fools of people, and people are such fools to begin with, that it's compounding a felony. ~Robert Benchley


The chief reason for drinking is the desire to behave in a certain way, and to be able to blame it on alcohol. ~Mignon McLaughlin, The Neurotic's Notebook, 1960


A woman drove me to drink and I never even had the courtesy to thank her. ~W.C. Fields

Remember: "I" before "E," except in Budweiser. ~Author Unknown