Notice to All Employees

As of November 5, 2008, when President Obama is officially elected into

office, our company will instill a few new policies which are in

keeping with his new, inspiring issues of change and fairness:

1. All salespeople will be pooling their sales commissions into a

common pool that will be divided equally between all of you. This will

serve to give those of you who are underachieving a "fair shake."

2. All hourly employees will be pooling their wages, including

overtime, into a common pool, dividing it equally amongst yourselves.

This will help those who are "too busy for overtime" to reap the

rewards from those who have more spare time and can work extra hours.

3. All top management will now be referred to as "the government." We

will not participate in this "pooling" experience because the law

doesn't apply to us.

4. The "government" will give eloquent speeches to all employees every

week, encouraging its workers to continue to work hard "for the good of

all."

5. The employees will be thrilled with these new policies because it's

"good to spread the wealth." Those of you who have underachieved will

finally get an opportunity; those of you who have worked hard and had

success will feel more "patriotic."

6. The last few people who were hired should clean out their desks.

Don't feel bad though, because President Obama will give you free

healthcare, free handouts, free oil for heating your home, free food

stamps, and he'll let you stay in your home for as long as you want

even if you can't pay your mortgage. If you appeal directly to our

democratic congress, you might even get a free flat screen TV and a

coupon for free haircuts (shouldn't all Americans be entitled to nice

looking hair?) !!!

If for any reason you are not happy with the new policies, you may want

to rethink your vote on November 4th.