The van said, don't laugh your grandma may have partied here

After browning in the Cuban sun for 2 weeks and a 5 hour return flight . All I wanted was a coffee. Welcome to Tim Hortons. What can I get you? I'll have a double double and a egg mcmuffin . We don't sell egg mcmuffins, we have a egg biscuit, What size coffee would you like, the small that use to be the old medium, the new medium, regular small, extra small, large or extra large? Will that be regular or Dark roast?  Is that everything today? I'll read your order back to you.... Is that right sir? Ok, that will be $1.54 without the biscuit.. Will that be cash , debit or credit card ? Visa , I reply.. " I should never have said visa because she looked at me.. Looked at the card.. Looked back at me and called her boss." I don't mind waiting my turn, but when it takes 3 years to get to the servers window for a coffee and my ethnicity comes into question over 1.54 ? I try to grab the visa back and pay cash. The boss looks at me , looks at the visa and calls the manager. The manager says, your not Chinese! This card says Lee. She than calls the cops cause I have no ID.  Thats when the Tim Hortons customer service representatives attacked my van, like a bunch of immigrants piling into their ride to the immigration registry office . 4 marriage proposals later, the cop shows up in a turban to find everyone singing karaoke in the back of the van and has us all deported to Vancouver, where were moved into a hotel and given a fifteen hundred dollar credit voucher for the restaurant and lobby bar and one free return ticket to Philipines. The idea of an extended vacation at the governments expense with my new friends comes with some perils when my friends find out I'm a white guy and turn me into there personal slave serving them coffee and cleaning up after everyone as they laugh and ask " how do you like it ? Just keep smiling or your going back with us ... You can't send me back I'm a white guy !  " Sure you are " they laugh. Sure you are..