Since my recent crowning as King, I have installed new software on my computer called "Genuflect Detect." Of course, this software grabs your monitor and watches your activities prior to addressing his royalness, Me. The software has detected a noticible lack of genuflectation prior to the act of addressing the said King, Me.

We are not amused.

Let's get this corrected then, shall youse? No need to totally prostate yourselves. One knee is fine. What sort of tyrant do you think I am? And no pleasuring of yourself whilst one handed typing. The software can detect this and I am powerless to stop the software from reporting these activities to the board.

As any good and wise King would do, I have appointed what's his name, Larry the Vacumn Guy, as counsel. While he is not nearly as pretty as I, he seems a rather clever sort, so I will let him handle some of the technical reportage while I deal with the far more important issues of mirth and glass half fullishness.

The cat has been given royal assent to be Court Seer, given her pinpoint accuracy on predictions. Don Jose de la Mosaic shall be the Royal Weaver, to spin some good yarns.

The only position yet to fill in the Royal Court would be "Belly Dancing Temptress" Ole Blue Eye, you up for that?

Good.

Now that we and UC management appear to have things all lined up neat like, we can make mucho progress. That's Spanish right there. Means "a lot". Your King is a sharp bisexual, speaking two languages.

And grew up watching Jerry Van Dyke on the Ed Sullivan Shoe with me mom. Rather self-oedipal.

On a lighter note, in a couple weeks, the King himself will be going into accumulation mode.

I invite all my loyal subjects to join in the festive buying, but not before I get 'em sub six cent if you please.

That is all.

King Truck.