Now, pay attention. TT means triple tap. This is like double tap, only I have a scratched cornea and don't see so well anymore. Double tap means two shots from a rifle/pistol to the vitals. With me so far?

So, I have decided that I am going to make myself ruler of the world. I am fixin to dig up Mark Twains bones, clone him, and make him my advisor. We gonna fix everything, using common sense, which, as you know, "ain't very common."

So, here's the rules. The first time any politician, CEO, media member, or person of influence, etc. fibs to me or attempts to play me for a fool by shrouding their words in politico-speak, they get a warning shot from an FN C-1 7.62 rifle through the ass cheek. The second time they get a TT. The FN I refer to was the former Canadian military issue rifle. Don't know what they use now, but I can handle an FN.

To keep this discussion on topic, Mr. Monaghan, I suggest you get some kevlar pantaloons before you speak next time, just in case. I might miss the ass cheek and hit the wedding tackle. Poop happens. The truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth, please. Now would be a good time.

Here's a random sampling of the other folks on the planet and how they should be dealt with, according to Mr. Twains rules.

David Suzuki. Never mind the warning shot. TT.

Ban Ki Moon. See above.

Al Gore. TT squared.

President Bullrack Obladi-Oblada. One through the ass. "If I had a son, he would look like Treyvon" Talk about putting out a fire with gasoline. Hold the rifle on him and make him read Malcom X "Slave Mentality" I think he will go down in history as the worst President ever. Maybe a tie with Dubya. And this when we need a good one the most. Clone Harry Truman. That performance in Washington a few weeks back, with the taking off the jacket and constanly wiping the brow while talking about the non-existent global warming was as much Bullshite as any rational human can bear. Does he not think that the money he is pissing away on combating non-existent global warming might be better spent in Detroit? When he is done reading Malcom, perhaps he can try a bit of science? And the media? TT cubed for most of them. Sorry, did you fail to notice the other 6,600 young black male murder victims the past year? All that Zimmer story was, was two ships of fools that, unfortunately, failed to "pass in the night" Nothing more, nothing less. Move along, nothing to see here.

And, speaking of Detroit, put me in charge and I'll have that sonofabitch fixed in 48 hours. In order of importance, Good nutrition, Edumacation, Compassion, Twain's/Brains and Automobiles, Bulldozer, Habitat, ban the media and politicians, one through the ass of the union bosses that have the gall to call this situation "union busting" When I wasn't delivering out in New England, I used to be in Detroit 2 or 3 times a week. I know that town well. I picked up at a place down VanDyke near downtown and there was an abandoned building across the street that looked like it belonged in a war zone. Black dude on the dock told me that it had been like that since the riots in '67. Must have been well built to stand for over 40 years. Do ya reckon it should be left standing as a reminder, or should it be knocked down and we move along, nothing to see here. Nuff said.

Feel free to add yer two cents worth on who should get one through the ass. I could, by the by, use some help in purchasing and transporting the 60 ton of ammo I will need to do the said ass shootin. Me stocks haven't been doing so good lately.

As Jessie Liverwurst said tho, "It ain't about the buyin or the sellin, it's about the waitin"

Aafab old buddy, that's a rant. Hee Hee. Maybe you come to golf? We drink a barley sandwich? We have a laugh?

Hope to see many of y'all in the Falls in Sept. Me goin on Friday the 13th. Will wave at all the bikers headin to Dover the other way.

Truck the Merciful.