"Hi there ! This is Strato-Oosterhuis, with the play by play (sort of), of the 1st NOT GOLF Tournament.

We were all ready to go. Storm dumped a sleeve of golf balls in everyone's cart seat. Nice touch. They were good balls, too. I liked that.
Strato stood on the tee and announced that the first NOT-GOLF tournament was now officially underway.
The first hole is drive-able for the big hitters, but you have to be accurate as well.
My group went first. BigJohn (obviously, John, lol), the worst of the three on our team, rips it, right down the centre of the FW and just short of the green. Then Donn-Tino (Tino), slashes it left into the trees.
Now it's my turn. I might've been bragging a little about my game, prior to the tournament, and so I think that most people assumed that I was a real good player and so....

A hush fell over the tee, as Strato took his practice swings......
….Strato, gets set, draws the club back and swings the club......and the ball dribbled off the tee and into the thick rough below, in front of the entire tournament. Figures...(hearty belly laughing ensued, from everyone).

Teams Glorieux (Frank, Shakey, Repairman, Mrs. Repairman) & Corndog (Corndog, QQ, Storm & Mrs. Storm), birdied the first hole. Strato (Strato, Donn-Tino & BigJohn) & Strong (Billstrong, Mustangman & Trips) made par. Corndog gave it back, with a double bogey on #2, then got back to even par, with a birdie on #5.

Team Strong made a rare birdie on the tough 3rd hole, to tie Glorieux for the lead. Meanwhile, Strato hit a monster drive on #4, signifying that he had finally awoken from his slumber.
Glorieux ripped his drive on #6, to win the Longest NOT-Drive and I know that because his ball rolled right past us, as we were standing in the fairway, to hit our second shots.
Strato hit another bomb drive, just short of the green on #9, where Team Strato finally made a birdie, to finish at even par, after nine holes, one behind Team Glorieux & Team Strong.

Some stories about crows & hotdogs and an old dog & a sandwich, were swapped at the halfway house......

Then the 10th. Okay, I only saw Team Strato shots all day long and some from Team Glorieux. So I can't say that this was the shot of the tournament, but it sure was the shot of the day, in our group. After seeing my two henchman, DonnTino & BigJohn hit it left & right, I took a five iron from 178 yards and hit it pure. It felt like butter off my club. The ball was tracking at the pin all the way to the hole, bouncing about 8 feet in front and stopping four feet behind the hole.

I yelped in sheer ecstacy and started doing the 'strato-dance' (?), in the fairway. Shouts of 'bozo' & 'tool' could be heard across the fairways......
We knocked in the short birdie putt and pulled even with Team Glorieux & Team Strong. Team Corndog made par and remained three back.

But Team Strato then gave it back, with a bogey on #11. Meanwhile, Team Glorieux, made their 10th par in a row, to remain at one-under, one ahead of Teams Strato & Strong.

Then Team Corndog bogeyed the tricky 12th hole, falling 4 behind, while Team Strato made their 3rd birdie of the day, on # 13, to pull even again, with Team Glorieux and one ahead of Team Strong.

Next up, was the monster par five, 14th hole and this sealed Team Corndog's fate. as they made double bogey, falling 6 back and out of contention. Teams Strato, Glorieux & Strong, all parred the hole.

Then, Team Strong birdied # 15, while Team Glorieux made a bogey, resulting in Strato & Strong being tied, at one under par, with Glorieux one back, at even par, with 3 holes to play.

Team Strong gave back that birdie, on #16, with a bogey and that put Team Strato in the lead alone, at one under, with Glorieux & Strong one behind.

Everybody parred # 17, so it set the stage for the last hole, the tough par four 18th. Team Strato missed the green on the approach and then couldn't get their chip close to the hole, leaving a tricky downhiller, for par, to remain in the lead. Strato Henchman, Donn-Tino & BigJohn, both missed and then Strato's putt rolled over the edge of the hole and didn't go in. This resulted in a bogey and Team Strato fell back into a 3-way tie with Teams Glorieux & Strong, at even par.

Next up the 18th fairway was Team Glorieux and they too, missed the green and then left their chip short, leaving a tricky, 15 foot putt for par, to stay tied for the lead. Team Strato, who were greenside, were shouting at Team Glorieux, naturally hoping they'd miss the putt (we were having some fun).

Mrs. Repairman missed, then Glorieux & Repairman also missed, putting all the pressure on Shakey. He was intense and in deep concentration.
He stroked the putt, it started bending toward the hole......and dove into the cup, sending Team Glorieux members into a delirious state. They shouted, slapped hands and patted the newly named "Steady", on the back. He had just saved the tournament, for his team.

Meanwhile, Strato was seen hitting himself in the head, with a 9-iron, while partners Donn-Tino and BigJohn, were strangling each other.

Once again, Teams Strato, Glorieux & Strong were all tied, at even par, with Team Strong still to play the 18th hole.
Unfortunately, I didn't see the result, as I had to get to the car, to pickup some prizes. But I did hear a lot of noise from down on the green, so I knew something had happened. And it was that Team Strong had bogeyed the last hole, to finish at one over par, one shot back of Teams Strato & Glorieux.

And so, we had to have a playoff, to determine the winner, between Teams Glorieux & Strato. As dinner was ready, we chose to have a putt-off between the two teams, on the dining room
carpet, putting at a Toonie.

The winning putt, almost right on the Toonie, was sunk by none other than.......

Repairman ! Team Glorieux was shouting and slapping hands, as they had just won, the first NOT GOLF Tournament.

Meanwhile, Strato had already jumped through the plate glass window, falling on to the putting green, where he began practicing......and Strato henchmen, Donn-Tino & BigJohn, were strangling each other again....

Congratulations to the winners of the 1st NOT GOLF Tournament, TEAM GLORIEUX !! What an exciting finish to a great day !!

strato-golf