Birds. Coming down Hacienda Rd. near the Aylmer Police College t'other day (Legacy Special will know that road) and two very large birds come out of the bush by the tracks strolling along. They got to quick steppin when they seen me comin. Very ungainly. First I'm thinking Pheasant, but no, these things are really goofy walkers with very long legs, neck and snoot. I get closer, they quick step a bit more. Puzzled, I consult my birdy book when I get home to confirm my suspicion, and yep, Blue Herons. If you think they look goofy when in flight, you should see 'em quick march. They do look majestic standin on a rock in a creek, eating Keegan's future dental patients. Fry with that?

More birds. Snow Gooses. (Goosii-Latin) Hundreds of 'em. Landing in a field in late afternoon off Culloden Rd., south of Brownsville, ON. Also a field of 'em behind same Police College. Apparently someone actually counts them. Over 900 I hear. Legacy might also confirm this. Now these birdies are something to behold. They turn into the wind and land. First one herd, then another pod, then another pack, then another twerple of gooses. They tweak their wings and land on the water like they got a sore backside, barely a ripple.

Twerple? Yes, that's a word. Usually used to refer to a gang of teen aged boys huddled around an X-box. As in "Free pizza to the first of you twerple to hit the showers. Ya smell like a wet hockey bag. And quit pickin yer nose."

The only difference between a gaggle of gooses and a twerple of youts is the goose are quiter and smell better.

Crocus (Crocii-Latin) Lo and behold, I come home Thurday evening, just gettin dark, look down at my bulp planted area and see, in the half-light, the ground is disturbed. Damn, I'm thinkin', them rodentii done got me. I look agin. Nope. There are little pointy shoots stickin out of the partly froze ground. Not sure if these are crocii, tulipii or daffodillii, but the buggers is pokin out. Now my late mother always said, "Don't be gettin full of beer and fallin face first in yer bulb patch around the middle of March. You could put an eye out." Hence the term "Beware the eyed's of March.

Looking back, it seems that every sport, occupation, hobby or activity, would, according to Mom's everywhere, eventually result in "putting an eye out" In fact, certain activities, "self-manipulation" shall we say, would actually result in blindness. Now, I'm quessing that Moms must get their learnin on these matters from the UN's IPCC, East Anglia, Suzuki or Keynes, cause, sorry Mom, yer Stats simply don't stand up to proper scientific scrutiny. If missing eyes and blindness were the true result, then the world would be ruled by women and two one-eyed guys named Vern whom were born without arms. Hence the adage "In the Kingdom of the blind, the one-eyed no armed man will rule."

Speaking of no arms, I'm wonderin if Hoov now is developing the visual acuity of famed Russian sniper Vasily Zeitsev, since that grizzle bar done tore Hoov's arms off. Sorry, Hoov, you're a scientist, you know you get rollin down a theory and start ponderin. Wait a minute, I just suggested a result to a theory I just debunked in the prior paragraph. Blindness due to manipulation. Must have had me UN science hat on for a moment there. Told you I was gettin old and senile. Hee Hee.

Later, gaggle.