For those full of fear & doubt , would you please consider keeping these feelings inside your container. No sense in puking it all over everybody, it will not help you.

No one here can give you the answer(s)you seek. Please hold your seat & sit quietly until you find the answers or strength you need to move forward in what ever direction you feel is the most comforting & brings you the most peace. 

Fear is a place you don't want or need to spend much time in.

all the best